24 March, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Tinder date downgraded to Hawker’s Corner after iffy message

A looming Tinder date has had its venue downgraded to West Terrace food court Hawker’s Corner following a questionable opinion on the quality of TV sitcom The Big Bang Theory.

After a series of seemingly witty messages (mostly just misunderstood references to The Cleveland Show), Kieren Sauté-Wintergreen fancied his chances with Junior Horse Tranquiliser Jen Goldslipper.

If you’re quoting Seinfeld, you’re starting off at around a Golden Boy, it’s a good start. A guy the other night asked if I wanted to go see Chunnel with him

In fact, Goldslipper was so impressed by Sauté-Wintergreen’s repartee that she reserved a Saturday night table at Hill of Grace for a potential date. However, after Kieren hastily wrapped up a flirtatious conversation because ‘Everybody Loves Raymond is on’, Goldslipper switched out restaurants to the more casual Africola.

‘I do have a bit of a hierarchy’, says Goldslipper. ‘If you’re quoting Seinfeld, you’re starting off at around a Golden Boy, it’s a good start. A guy the other night asked if I wanted to go see Chunnel with him. Bang! Out of the blocks, just like that! I got the polenta at Andre’s’.

‘But this guy’s really pushing his luck. I had to cut him all the way down from Africola to Hawker’s Corner when he mentioned The Big Bang Theory. I’ve never had a guy drop so far before. I’m really hoping he doesn’t mention Two Broke Girls or something because I don’t know where to go from Hawker’s…especially now that weird Daniel’s place on Rundle Street has closed’.

Related Posts

Kevin Costner spotted in Ridgehaven filming Waterworld sequel

12 August, 2019

12 August, 2019

With Adelaide seemingly becoming a relatively budget-friendly locale for upcoming Hollywood flops, it has become apparent that Mortal Kombat isn’t...

Liberals clarify public transport proposal: “No, no we want to SELL our trains and trams for 50c”

22 September, 2025

22 September, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT The South Australian Liberal party has clarified what they meant by their ’50 cent public transport’ proposal that...

Murray Bridge Bunyip first South Australian to apply for voluntary euthanasia

19 June, 2021

19 June, 2021

With the voluntary euthanasia bill passing in South Australia, one South Australian is putting their haggard green claw up to...

Resident of Not In Service always has entire bus to himself

4 June, 2020

4 June, 2020

A resident of one of Adelaide’s lesser known inner-outer suburbs, Not In Service, has continued to regularly catch public transport...

Man goes to Glenelg for New Year’s under impression it may be good

2 January, 2020

2 January, 2020

A local Adelaide man will tonight undertake what many South Australians have fallen trap to in the past. As a...

Woman makes mistake of going to Rundle Mall during school holidays

8 October, 2025

8 October, 2025

Popping out on her lunch break to grab a few things from Adelaide’s eighth best shopping district, office worker Helen...

Yatala Vale resident tired of explaining it’s nowhere near the prison

14 February, 2020

14 February, 2020

A resident of Yatala Vale, a picturesque semi-rural suburb in Adelaide’s outer north-east, is fed up being asked if she...

If they have to tear the Big Scotsman down, at least let us finally see his dick

14 April, 2021

14 April, 2021

For generations passing motorists and those unfortunate enough to stay at Scotty’s Motel have tried to catch a glimpse at...

You WON’T BELIEVE what Kane Cornes said on SEN 1629AM! Mainly because of all the static

11 December, 2020

11 December, 2020

He’s done it again, folks. South Australia’s king of controversy and 2020’s Best and Fairest Servo Sandwich Hawker has made...

Michael Keelan referred to as Keith Conlon for the last time!

23 September, 2018

23 September, 2018

That’s it, he’s absolutely had it. At first it was funny, sometimes even a little bit flattering, but enough is...

The Advertiser returns to 100% satire following April Fools’ prank

2 April, 2019

2 April, 2019 1

It is a publication that has always gone to great lengths to get a laugh from South Australians. From the...

Limited edition Womenz FruChocs released for International Women’s Day

5 March, 2020

5 March, 2020

MATT FREEMAN Menz Confectionery have released a special limited edition run of their much beloved FruChocs for International Women’s Day...

“Nah, that doesn’t mean me” says guy with 8 cars behind him near Gumeracha

3 May, 2022

3 May, 2022 1

Moe Trist, like many Adelaide residents, loves a nice relaxing drive through the Adelaide Hills. Often heading up into the...

Aspiring Magic Cave Father Christmas settles for Parabanks gig again

1 December, 2019

1 December, 2019

For professional shopping centre Father Christmas Claude St Velcro, it’s become a case of take what you can get. Every...

City resident can’t go twenty minutes without telling someone they live in the CBD

15 October, 2018

15 October, 2018

Even after months after moving into her new South Terrace apartment, Ebony Higgs of Adelaide, continues to remind everyone of...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading