Empty Port Adelaide shed makes way for empty apartment building

The State Government has stepped into the ring in a fight over a historic shed in Port Adelaide, overruling a potential heritage listing to make way for a new housing development.

The state’s heritage council had been pushing to have the abandoned shed protected as a heritage building, citing the building’s importance in ‘capturing in essence, the precise cocktail of Port Adelaide’s awful looks, diminished relevance and depressing atmosphere’, according to a press release.

However, State Minister for Heritage, Business and Suit Alterations Ken Cotswald von Cotswald assured Adelaide Mail that the site is earmarked for an equally depressing apartment block.

‘The State Government is not in the business of indiscriminately destroying heritage buildings. We save the indiscriminate destruction for workers’ rights and the public service’, Cotswald von Cotswald said.

‘However, the economic case for the development was simply too strong. The builders have taken into account the importance of the feeling of complete abandonment in Shed 26. That’s why the State Government has sought a guarantee that the building will never be any more than 6% occupied. We call it the “Newport Quays” policy’.