20 March, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Confused, elderly tourist takes wrong turn, drives his unroadworthy vehicle on to O-Bahn tracks

TRENT BARTLETT

An elderly tourist claims that he must have taken a wrong turn somewhere in the city before driving what has been described as a giant snow sled pulled by mechanical deer on to the O-Bahn.

The driver of the vehicle has been revealed as a tourist visiting for the weekend from “some country above the Arctic Circle”. Confusingly, the driver was followed on to the tracks by an marching band, multiple adults dressed as elves, and around 15,000 Adelaide children attempting to investigate the contents of the elderly man’s large hessian sack.

“We have spoken with the man and decided that he will not be facing any criminal charges, because he’s clearly an unwell man,” SAPOL’s Director of O-Bahn Traffic Mishaps and Marching Bands Solomon Corflute-Bracks told Adelaide Mail.

“He is suffering from delusions and flights of fancy. Our Constables met with the man at around 8:20 this morning, the driver was confused as to where he was and told the officers that his vehicle usually ‘flew through the air majestically but couldn’t’, err because he ‘didn’t have his usual deer with him to pull the sled high into the sky over the houses of all the boys and girls of the world’.

Pageant day is here which means if you’re a self-respecting South Australian, it’s time to put up the Christmas Tree. And now that we’ve established that you’re a self-respecting South Australian, if your Christmas Tree is missing the Adelaide Mail SA Christmas Ornaments then you’re obviously a fraud. Pre-order yours today.

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