6 March, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Adelaide music fan about to pretend to be really into some washed-up 90s band for a few months

TRENT BARTLETT

Fan of going to things because they’re on, Somerton Park resident Granvil Gesticulate has revealed his intent to get super into whichever washed-up 90s band is announced to headline the resurrected Harvest Rock festival later this year.

Gesticulate, whose actual music taste ranges all the way from whoever topped the Hottest 100 when he was 22 years old to any band at the top of a Spotify-recommended playlist, told Adelaide Mail that he’s always been into whichever band ends up headlining.

“I just hope they play stuff from their second album,” Gesticulate says, although being entirely unsure about to whom he is referring. “You know, some people call it maligned, but I think they were just trying some stuff.”

Despite the promise to throw all of his support behind whoever it is headlining, Gesticulate’s track record suggests he will quickly forget about the band’s music and existence. The music fan completely ceased all interest in Jamiroquai following the 2023 festival, and refuses to speak about the 2022 event after he accidentally learnt all of Tenacious D’s back catalogue. Jack White was performing.

Granvil has already penciled in time for a JB Hi-Fi visit to purchase some overpriced band logo t-shirt, along with a week to cram on the band’s Wikipedia entry, including all factual inaccuracies.

Related Posts

SA Liberals enter 1,174th day of their controversial ‘Nobody Knows Who The Hell Our Leader Is’ strategy

6 June, 2025

6 June, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT The South Australian Liberal Party has today entered its 1,174th consecutive day of Operation: Nobody Knows Who The...

Adelaide guy feels like a big man after getting that finger wave thing on KI

20 August, 2021

20 August, 2021

With few decent options available for interstate or overseas travel, Adelaide man Kane Garew decided to head to Kangaroo Island...

Gran no longer needs to save her dollar coins for “laundry”

27 September, 2019

27 September, 2019

For the past twenty years grandmother Judice Freespins has been known to save every dollar coin she comes across for her...

Fringe comedian claiming to have performed at Edinburgh just told some jokes outside the RAAF base

16 March, 2022

16 March, 2022

As the Adelaide Fringe Festival begins to wind down, some local comedians are resorting to new tactics in an attempt...

Elizabeth resident lobbies council to change name to Playholden

17 October, 2019

17 October, 2019

As the third anniversary of the closure of the Holden plant at Elizabeth approaches, lifetime local resident Camira Minnet lobbies...

City resident can’t go twenty minutes without telling someone they live in the CBD

15 October, 2018

15 October, 2018

Even after months after moving into her new South Terrace apartment, Ebony Higgs of Adelaide, continues to remind everyone of...

Local “Teddy Bear Hunt” replaced with far easier “Mastrangelo Real Estate Sign Hunt”

20 April, 2020

20 April, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Parents around Adelaide’s suburbs (looking for ways to distract their kids from the tedium of life that only...

Modbury Triangle celebrates 14th shopper of 2020

3 March, 2020

3 March, 2020

In what has been an admittedly slower year for one of the smaller metropolitan shopping outlets, Modbury Triangle Shopping Centre...

Oh no! Someone confused “Emo Park” with “Emu Park”, let a bunch of emus loose and now it’s even worse

3 December, 2021

3 December, 2021

Adelaide’s most depressing piece of parkland has seen more mayhem than usual today, with an unexpected yet understandable mix-up resulting...

All 17 South Australian rugby fans very excited

4 November, 2020

4 November, 2020

DAN SCHMIDT Ahead of tonight’s opening State of Origin (it’s for some sport called rugby, we checked) game tonight, the...

Victorian fails SA Driver’s Licence test after correctly zip merging

5 October, 2023

5 October, 2023

An interstate motorist has attempted to gain a South Australian Driver’s Licence but ultimately failed due to their courteous (and...

Absolute heroes pull into far left lane to stop at Lower North East and Darley Road lights

11 October, 2024

11 October, 2024 1

Lower North East Road motorists know the Darley Road intersection far too well, mainly due to the regular sightings of...

FIVEaa now adds diversity to presenter lineup by hiring a half Italian guy

29 March, 2021

29 March, 2021

The overdue sacking of Jeremy Cordeaux, a silly little man who got drunk and then behind the wheel repeatedly, has...

Local woman caught lustfully gazing at Hindmarsh Square tree again

29 September, 2023

29 September, 2023

A local MILF in your area who wants to meet you but you never click on the popups has once...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading