With Splendour cancelled, one infamous SA festival returns to save the music scene

DAN SCHMIDT

The cancellation of Splendour In The Grass has left a giant hole in Australia’s festival scene, however one SA music festival has announced plans of a revival despite nobody ever asking for it.

The “organisers” of Live At The Zoo (2008) have announced they have secured a large, dusty patch of land somewhere near Monarto, and the rest should pretty much take care of itself.

Lead “organisers” have stated that “We can do what Splendour In The Grass can’t.”

“Just like last time, we’re not going to cancel because of poor ticket sales, unpaid debts, rising costs and artist no-shows. No, no. We once again can simply cut costs and compromise patron safety to make sure the festival goes ahead and everyone has a great, albeit unsafe, time.”

“That’s how it used to be. We barely sold any tickets and it still went ahead. All we had to do was have no security, no organisation, no general planning whatsoever, a lack of amenities and drinking water, and everyone had a great time. You find me one person who says they regret going to Live At The Zoo, I bet you can’t.”

For those who were either too young or too stupid to not attend the initial Live At The Zoo Festival in 2008, it is reported patrons can expect the return of the initial festival’s highlights including:

• A 24 hour techno stage right next to the camp grounds
• Open air drug markets
• Every portaloo being clogged and nobody coming to fix them
• The group of bogans that came in the middle of the night because they heard there was no security and just stole all the artists’ equipment
• Open invite tent orgies
• Self service alcohol due to unpaid bar staff walkoffs
• Bands not playing due to safety concerns
• Cars running over tents
• Organisers landing in court for being criminally negligent

For those who were at the initial Live At The Zoo prepare yourselves once again with more smuggled in booze and please share your experiences with us.

Seriously, if you haven’t heard about this infamous SA Festival you NEED to hear about it. Listen to the AdeLOL Podcast cover it in all its hilarity here or wherever you get your podcasts:

AdeLOL is a comedy podcast covering South Australia’s wildest, dumbest, and most hilarious moments in history.