24 March, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Norwood cafe Argo to begin taking bookings for those who just want to line up

In a move described by industry experts as ‘revolutionary’, the popular eastern suburbs brunch spot Argo is to begin taking reservations for people who simply want to stand in queue for up to 40 minutes.

We’re told that you can expect such menu items as: getting in people’s way, having overhead plants drip dirty water on you and making your boyfriend take photos of you standing against a wall

The new dining option – which is being marketed, rather cumbersomely as ‘Argo and wait in a line for up to 40 minutes while you’re hungry and complaining about being hungover in your activewear’ – has been introduced primarily for those with special dietary requirements, specifically the keto-vegan-coeliacs who somehow manage to make menu changes to an order of table water.

For those lucky enough to have secured a booking for the Argo queue experience, we’re told that you can expect such menu items as: getting in people’s way, having overhead plants drip dirty water on you and making your boyfriend take photos of you standing against a wall.

While bookings are encouraged, the cafe is accepting walk-ups although they have been told to expect a long wait.

Related Posts

Local pisshead really enjoying this ‘Dry July’ so far

3 July, 2019

3 July, 2019

Regency Park resident and drunkard Al Koholic has had a fantastic, albeit technically wrong, start to the popular ‘Dry July’ campaign. ‘When...

Confused, elderly tourist takes wrong turn, drives his unroadworthy vehicle on to O-Bahn tracks

8 November, 2025

8 November, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT An elderly tourist claims that he must have taken a wrong turn somewhere in the city before driving...

South Australians go into three-month, self-imposed lockdown following end of Fringe

21 March, 2021

21 March, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Adelaideans have retreated into their annual, self-imposed lockdown for a quarter of the year following the end of...

Confused F1 fan arrives in Albert Park, SA ahead of Grand Prix

14 March, 2019

14 March, 2019

Lanyard Boystongue didn’t know what to expect upon arriving in Adelaide ahead of the 2019 Australian Formula One Grand Prix....

Next season of ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ to actually be set in Adelaide’s premier suburb of Paradise

24 August, 2018

24 August, 2018

Due to excessive helicopter use and a vast majority of the budget being spent on Osher’s hair, Channel 10 executives have...

Guy who loved Casino’s Loco Bar drink stock market now heaps into crypto

27 January, 2022

27 January, 2022

HODL THE LIME: In the early 2000’s when the Adelaide Casino first figured out the fact that they could further...

Midnight Pharmacy seriously gives no fucks anymore

28 February, 2019

28 February, 2019

What was once an innovative practice for the early 2000’s, in an age where South Australian pharmacies were banned from...

Stirling stoner claims local chemist name is misleading

3 February, 2020

3 February, 2020

An Adelaide Hills stay-at-home adult daughter and Oreos connoisseur Chakra Vortwenti is claiming that the name of her local pharmacy...

Introducing O-Bet! A gambling app for betting on when the next car drives on the O-Bahn

24 May, 2023

24 May, 2023

After failing to find financial success in the overcrowded scummy news industry, Adelaide Mail are changing direction by attempting to...

Hills Hoist and Cask Wine sales data significantly correlated for some unknown reason

27 August, 2018

27 August, 2018

Statisticians and data analysts have been left completely baffled at the strongly correlated sales data of two South Australian icons....

China finds crafty solution to Baby Formula problem

26 November, 2019

26 November, 2019

With the aftermath of 2008’s Chinese milk scandal still looming over parents’ minds across the country, one Chinese company has...

Joe reveals how he keeps the prices so low: all the appliances are just chocolate wrapped in foil

3 November, 2021

3 November, 2021

As the proprietor of an inner-suburban discount electrical store it would come as no surprise to you that Joe [last...

SA Liberals enter 1,174th day of their controversial ‘Nobody Knows Who The Hell Our Leader Is’ strategy

6 June, 2025

6 June, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT The South Australian Liberal Party has today entered its 1,174th consecutive day of Operation: Nobody Knows Who The...

SA girl Cassie Sainsbury reportedly excited for upcoming “White Wedding”

19 November, 2021

19 November, 2021

TOM STEWART With news breaking yesterday that local girl Cassandra Sainsbury is engaged, it is reported she is now looking...

Tea Tree Plaza now investigating accuracy of Einstein mural quote

30 November, 2021

30 November, 2021

After falsely attributing a quote to Sir David Attenborough in a public mural, Tea Tree Plaza’s mural and roof leak...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading