14 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

SA girl Cassie Sainsbury reportedly excited for upcoming “White Wedding”

TOM STEWART

With news breaking yesterday that local girl Cassandra Sainsbury is engaged, it is reported she is now looking to planning a “White Wedding” in Colombia.

Cassie Sainsbury is well known for being the Yorketown resident with the fewest drug convictions.

Speaking to Adelaide Mail via MSN Messenger from Columbia, she told us that she and her partner are looking for venues with the most accessible toilets in the area.

When asked if she was doing this to ensure the wedding day would be inclusive, she became confused.

‘No, you can just fit more people in those cubicles’ she replied.

It also seems that the white wedding will have many guests, as Cassie mentioned there would be plenty of lines.

We had to cut the interview short as Ms Sainsbury began struggling with a runny nose.

‘There’s just so much pollen in the air at this time of year in Columbia’ she stated. We assume this is true.

For those wishing to provide the happy couple with a gift on their happy day, the gift-registry can be accessed on the Darknet Market.

in Life, News
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