The Adelaide Botanic Garden is set to welcome thousands of visitors* in anticipation of catching a look and whiff of the SA’s own blooming corpse flower. A rare botanical event that produces a smell akin to rotting flesh or the Henley Beach shore in October 2025.
Confusingly, however, visitors continue to ignore an ever-present attraction that smells much nicer than that awful flower, the Botanic Garden’s corpse that smells like flowers. A point that angers curators at the gardens.
“Everyone comes here every couple of years and lines up for hours to smell that awful bloody flower,” says Botanic Garden Tour Guide and Ice Cream Freezer Refiller Barry Wetdog.
“These people are idiots, lining up for that flower that smells like shit. We have a human corpse that smells absolutely lovely. Soft floral notes, touch of sandalwood, it’s tasting and very pleasing if you’re into things like closure and coming face-to-face with your inevitable demise.
“It’s beautiful, and yet there’s nobody here, which is great, because you can get up nice and close. But please don’t touch it, it’s a delicate botanical phenomenon and also part of an active police investigation.
At time of going to print the corpse flower had not yet bloomed and the flower corpse had not yet been visited.
*idiots
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