26 September, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Dover Gardens man with a cold ends up in taxi to Novar Gardens

After leaving after-work Friday drinks in the city early because they were feeling a little under the weather, Al Lurgey hailed a cab and asked to be taken to his home in Dover Gardens.

‘Yes, yes. I know where is’, said the cabbie in a nondescript and inoffensive ethnic accent that doesn’t really work in text ‘there is no need for me to put this in my GPS or reconfirm with you. You know what? Don’t even tell me your street name, I see you are feeling unwell, I take care of you. Go on, lay back and close your eyes, I will wake when we arrive. There is no way this could go wrong’.

This isn’t even a news story. It’s basically a non-event. You just needed a funny headline to put up for the day because most people don’t even read the stories, right?

Approximately fifteen minutes later, Al was awoken somewhere along the border of Glenelg Golf Course ‘Oh no, not again!’ exclaimed Al ‘sorry, I said I live in “Dover Gardens”, I believe you misheard me because of my blocked nose’.

The apologetic cabbie said ‘Oh so sorry my friend, lucky it is kind of on the way anyway, I’ll just turn the meter off and not charge you the rest of the way’. Al arrived home in safely not long after.

When contacted by Adelaide Mail about this traumatic ordeal, Al stated ‘This isn’t even a news story. It’s basically a non-event. You just needed a funny headline to put up for the day because most people don’t even read the stories, right? You’re just hoping people will tag their Novar or Dover Gardens friends in the comment section saying “this you”, aren’t you? Bloody Betoota wannabees’.

Adelaide Mail denies these claims.

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