The Federal Government has unveiled a $500 million emergency response package to combat the algal bloom crisis ravaging an ornamental fountain in Sydney’s Botanic Gardens. The move comes after Federal Government Ministers were told about an algal bloom crisis and assumed that it was taking place in the fountain they see on their jogging route.
Environmental experts warn the bloom could kill up to 13,000 marine animals, including bottlenose dolphins and humpback whales, if any were living in the fountain. Thankfully, there are no marine animals in this particular body of water.
Fitting even a dwarf sperm whale into the roughly 30,000-litre fountain poses logistical challenges, such as the need for 8.3 million litres of salt water, a large crane to lift the whale into place, and several ethically dubious whale traps. A number of school excursions would also need to be rerouted.
A feasibility study is already underway, pending the results of an even more expensive pre-feasibility study.
Groundskeepers have suggested that cleaning the fountain’s filter would solve the problem for around $30. A Federal Government minister responded, “We know Sydney is expensive so spend whatever it takes then treat yourself to something nice.”
When asked about addressing the algal bloom also choking South Australia’s coastline, the same minister was unable to comment, mainly because he could not identify South Australia on a map
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