New Tea Tree Plaza Timezone to include O-Bahn driving simulator

DAN SCHMIDT

The opening of a new Timezone on the previous lower level of Myer that nobody really cared about occurred last weekend, with reports stating that this may be the most exciting thing to happen at Tea Tree Plaza since Guy Sebastian was spotted browsing Wacky Shack circa 2007.

Whilst the Timezone includes brand new arcade games, Zone Bowling, bumper cars and laser tag, the new entertainment centre of the North East also has a unique surprise for the locals.

‘We’ve done our research’, stated self proclaimed arcade manager Don Keekonng ‘And it’s clear that the people of Adelaide’s North Eastern suburbs want one thing more than anyone else. To drive a car on the O-Bahn tracks’.

‘That’s what we’re all about here at Timezone’, continued Don ‘You can escape the real world and blast zombies with a laser gun, ride a VR rollercoaster with some cartoon rabbits, or take a 2013 Camry onto the virtual O-Bahn tracks’.

‘Come take a look at this’, Don whispered as he quickly ushered us into what seemed like a staff-only repair section of the arcade and gestured to what was clearly just a poorly modified old Daytona machine.

‘I’ve been waiting YEARS to release this, and now the time has finally come! Hours upon hours of painstakingly writing code to emulate the ultimate O-Bahn driving experience. Players can select from a range of vehicles including a Toyota Camry, a Toyota Corolla, or a slightly different type of Toyota Camry’ said Don, beaming with pride.

‘That other little arcade that used to be here didn’t have the guts to put this baby on the floor. They kept giving me excuses like ‘There isn’t enough space’, or ‘It’s illegal to modify the games’, or ‘You don’t even really work here anymore’. But now, the gamers of the North East will finally get to live out their dreams of taking the most tempting shortcut to the city. Would you like to give it a go?’

Unfortunately, ‘DaytO-Bahn’ froze as soon as we lost the oil sump at the Plaza interchange.

‘Ugh, not again!’ said Don ‘I might just have to give up on this one and continue my work on ‘MariO-Bahn’ instead.

Editor’s note: Thank you to Timezone and Feature Communications for having Adelaide Mail at the Grand Opening of the Tea Tree Plaza Timezone, it was great to experience a VIP event as if we were a real newspaper. It was sick fun.