11 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Woman hailed as genius for finding secret express route from City to TTP

TRENT BARTLETT

Victorian motorist Ransack Platoon has been labelled as a genius by motoring groups after discovering a shortcut that could spell the end of traffic woes for all North-East commuters.

Platoon was driving out of Adelaide via East Terrace on her way to visit family in Modbury. Running short on time, the motorist was on the lookout for any shortcuts that might trim down the otherwise 25 minute journey.

I don’t know how everybody else missed this. There are big, flashing lights right near the tunnel to get everyone’s attention

‘I couldn’t believe my luck’, Platoon told the Adelaide Mail from the back of a flat-bed tow truck, ‘I was just driving along when all of a sudden I see a shortcut appear in front of me. I checked on Google Maps, and sure enough, the road went all the way to Modbury’.

‘I don’t know how everybody else missed this. There are big, flashing lights right near the tunnel to get everyone’s attention, and yet everyone else drives the long way’.

Platoon’s journey along the O-Bahn bus route was cut short when her car’s oil sump was ripped out by a track safety feature, rendering the Mazda even more worthless. The Victorian, however, refused to let a non-operational vehicle dampen her spirits.

‘I’ll be back, probably with my Land Cruiser next time’.

To learn more about the hilarious history of the Adelaide O-Bahn, have a listen to this episode of AdeLOL, a comedy podcast covering South Australian history in a unique way:

Related Posts

Just FYI, that Whispering Wall is a dirty snitch

15 July, 2020

15 July, 2020

DAM SNITCH: We all have secrets. Some large, some small, some downright incriminating. But when we confide in someone or...

Haigh’s prepare store for influx of Greeks this week

23 April, 2019

23 April, 2019

With the traditional Christian-Easter done and dusted and most of Adelaide in a pre-diabetic state, iconic chocolatiers Haigh’s have undertaken...

Could’ve been more specific, say mates meeting at ‘Shit Norwood Cafe’

12 November, 2019

12 November, 2019

A pair of old friends who had arranged to catch up at ‘That shitty Italian place on The Parade’ are...

AFL introduces wildcard round to give Crows two more chances to crash out of the finals

10 November, 2025

10 November, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT The Australian Football League has announced the biggest shakeup to its finals system in over two decades with...

Adelaide commuters urged to save petrol by taking forbidden shortcut

30 March, 2026

30 March, 2026

TRENT BARTLETT In a decisive move designed to get South Australians out of their cars more quickly, authorities have urged...

SA Liberal Party discovers crafty new way to make up for drop in GST revenue

7 October, 2020

7 October, 2020

Those paying attention to state treasurer Rob Lucas this week would have seen that he was largely unperturbed by the...

14-year-old tries to convince friends that he came up with the nickname ‘STABerfoyle Park’

7 July, 2020

7 July, 2020 1

TRENT BARTLETT While he might be a future writer for Charlie Pickering’s The Weekly, Jack Sauerbier will not be winning...

FACT: It’s called “Emo Park” because it’s the most depressing place in Adelaide

9 October, 2020

9 October, 2020

The midwest pocket of Hindmarsh Square is certainly an interesting place. There’s a giant dead fish skeleton, a dodgy looking...

Residents of Shithöle angered at being compared to Adelaide

25 September, 2019

25 September, 2019

The small village of Shithöle lies somewhere along the Eastern European poverty belt’s poverty belt, near the disputed border of...

“SA needs more live music” says Harvest Rock punter before ignoring live music for another 6 months

30 October, 2023

30 October, 2023

TRENT BARTLETT Music promoters have been left wondering whether there might still be life in Adelaide’s schedule of touring international...

Surely selecting VICTORIA Park as a testing location was a deliberate low-key diss

5 August, 2020

5 August, 2020

Our state’s newest COVID-19 drive through testing station opened in Adelaide’s Victoria Park this morning, resulting in car queues of...

Entire city somehow surprised by annual road closures again

26 February, 2019

26 February, 2019

Despite a predictable schedule of annual road closures preceded by road signs forewarning motorists weeks in advance, the entire population...

Government throws the best ever foam party on the Glenelg shore

3 October, 2025

3 October, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT Crowds flocked to Glenelg this week after the South Australian Government announced it would no longer refer to...

After stealing our Grand Prix, Melbourne now steals our idea of cancelling a motor race

6 July, 2021

6 July, 2021

After stealing the Formula 1 Grand Prix from Adelaide in 1996, Melbourne has once again stolen a South Australian motorsport...

Following Ross Lyon announcement, Robert Shaw faxes Crows “just to see how they’re going”

24 October, 2022

24 October, 2022

MATT FREEMAN In light of St Kilda’s appointment of Ross Lyon as coach for the second time, former Adelaide Crows...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading