30 October, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Tensions escalate as Hamas mistakenly bombs Gaza Footy Club

A north-eastern Adelaide football club has been mistakenly drawn into a long-running Middle Eastern conflict solely because their name is spelt the same as a disputed territory.

To be honest, we’ve not heard of the conflict, although we do tend to get all of our news from social media. So if you ask us about who was robbed in the Hottest 100 or which Adelaide Crow administrator thinks is a disgrace this week, we’re all over it.

It’s unfair, usually when there’s a clash involving us it’s just a guernsey clash, you know, there are always tensions over the Gaza strip

‘This is devastating’, says head of Eastern European Football Imports at Gaza Screwa Torpee. ‘It’s nowhere near as bad as that time Jars found out about Zambrero’s and started eating nothing but burritos for a month. The toilet block had to be evacuated after that. I mean, can you imagine how much stink a man who looks like that can generate from his arse?’

We cannot imagine.

‘Anyway, we got to the club on Saturday morning for our first pre-season session and found just a pile of rubble. We’ve been pulled into this clash for no reason whatsoever. It’s unfair, usually when there’s a clash involving us it’s just a guernsey clash, you know, there are always tensions over the Gaza strip…get it? Strip, Gaza strip?’

We did not get it.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

Burnside girl with SACA membership actually spends 20 minutes watching the cricket

6 December, 2018

6 December, 2018

The Adelaide test match is renowned for its festive atmosphere, beautiful scenery and the heritage ground, but for many the...

LOL, Melbourne thinks this is a beach

10 December, 2019

10 December, 2019

In a city where locals will constantly remind you it’s “world’s most livable” and also frequently awarded “world’s most consistently...

Cyberbullying teens never okay…unless it’s Caleb Bond and it’s really funny

18 March, 2019

18 March, 2019

Cyberbullying is a cowardly act, which can be particularly harmful when aimed at teens. However, in the wake of anti-bullying...

99.98% of all SA servo robberies perpetrated by the servo

12 March, 2019

12 March, 2019

South Australia has the highest service station robbery rates in the nation. However, largely due to our Peregrine overlords, it...

Playford resident quickly finds out why House & Land package was so cheap

8 October, 2018

8 October, 2018

Finally deciding to bite the bullet of home ownership, Mel Ashton, 29, of Smithfield, felt she could not go past...

Modbury High graduate furious at suggestion she went to Modbury Heights

15 April, 2019

15 April, 2019

It’s been over 15 years since Kelly S. Farm graduated high school to pursue a sticky-tape tester apprenticeship, but there...

Stobie pole “probably a Banksy” says Croydon mum

8 November, 2018

8 November, 2018

Fiona Foarzenshore fancies her home suburb of Croydon as something of a cultural hub in Adelaide’s inner west, and has...

Salisbury mum returns to OTR to buy carton of ciggies with wheelbarrow full of shrapnel

5 January, 2019

5 January, 2019

After reportedly being denied being able to buy milk and bread with a few fifty cents pieces, the single mother...

South Australian banned from returning to Adelaide from Victoria Square

31 July, 2020

31 July, 2020

Alrighty. Strap yourselves in readers, because with a headline like that, this is surely going to be a pretty poor...

Rundle Mall spruiker seamlessly weaves passing chat into sales pitch

10 September, 2019

10 September, 2019

Rundle Mall spruiker Frank Ratta has once again shown why he was awarded ‘SA’s Most Tolerated Spruiker’ eleven years running....

Adelaide Crows external review results revealed: Shit’s fucked

11 October, 2019

11 October, 2019

The Adelaide Football Club have revealed the results of a six week-long, in-depth external review of both its on and...

Old Tailem Town offers an accurate portrayal of life in South Australian country towns (in 2020)

14 September, 2020

14 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT South Australia’s favourite family attraction within an 80-minute drive, south-east of the city is (since Puzzle Park closed)...

Theology states St Clair is the Patron Saint of Motor Vehicle Theft

3 August, 2020

3 August, 2020

After minutes of research, religious scholars have uncovered that St Clair is the Patron Saint of Motor Vehicle Theft and...

Barmera economy kept afloat entirely by TV Travel Auctions

22 January, 2019

22 January, 2019

‘Who wants to go on a holiday, holiday, holiday?’ You can hear the eternally-repeating echoes of John Dean’s famous voiceover...

SA Liberal Party discovers crafty new way to make up for drop in GST revenue

7 October, 2020

7 October, 2020

Those paying attention to state treasurer Rob Lucas this week would have seen that he was largely unperturbed by the...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: