28 February, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Tensions escalate as Hamas mistakenly bombs Gaza Footy Club

A north-eastern Adelaide football club has been mistakenly drawn into a long-running Middle Eastern conflict solely because their name is spelt the same as a disputed territory.

To be honest, we’ve not heard of the conflict, although we do tend to get all of our news from social media. So if you ask us about who was robbed in the Hottest 100 or which Adelaide Crow administrator thinks is a disgrace this week, we’re all over it.

It’s unfair, usually when there’s a clash involving us it’s just a guernsey clash, you know, there are always tensions over the Gaza strip

‘This is devastating’, says head of Eastern European Football Imports at Gaza Screwa Torpee. ‘It’s nowhere near as bad as that time Jars found out about Zambrero’s and started eating nothing but burritos for a month. The toilet block had to be evacuated after that. I mean, can you imagine how much stink a man who looks like that can generate from his arse?’

We cannot imagine.

‘Anyway, we got to the club on Saturday morning for our first pre-season session and found just a pile of rubble. We’ve been pulled into this clash for no reason whatsoever. It’s unfair, usually when there’s a clash involving us it’s just a guernsey clash, you know, there are always tensions over the Gaza strip…get it? Strip, Gaza strip?’

We did not get it.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

SA Dentists host annual Farmers Union Iced Coffee appreciation night

9 December, 2019

9 December, 2019

South Australia’s dentists gathered for their industry’s night of nights on Saturday night, with their annual Farmers Union Thanksgiving Dinner....

Seeing a gap in the market, all OTRs start serving pancakes 24/7

17 June, 2019

17 June, 2019

With the Pancake Kitchen no longer operating 24 hours a day during the week, the OTR overlords have announced the...

AdBlocker removes entire AdelaideNow website

22 July, 2019

22 July, 2019

As Gavin Alook was searching for an old news article about the time his school actually figured out what the...

Advertiser’s top 100 restaurant list just Barnacle Bill 100 times

16 October, 2019

16 October, 2019

Usually the number one source of fish and chip paper itself, our State’s leading satirical newspaper The Advertiser has surprised...

SA Govt to start shifting truckloads of ‘Whinging Semaphore residents’

9 September, 2019

9 September, 2019

Following weeks of protests, debates and back-and-forth, the state government has finally arrived at a solution that will see their...

“South Boy” reckons Christies is heaps rougher than Smithfield

25 February, 2020

25 February, 2020

Despite never having travelled north of Prospect, Witton Huntfield of Christies Beach firmly believes that Adelaide’s southern suburbs are far...

SA called ‘Beggar State’ by Senator literally begging for money on GoFundMe

14 November, 2018

14 November, 2018

NSW Senator David Leyonhjelm has described South Australia as a “beggar state” that should be thrown out of the Australian...

Confused F1 fan arrives in Albert Park, SA ahead of Grand Prix

14 March, 2019

14 March, 2019

Lanyard Boystongue didn’t know what to expect upon arriving in Adelaide ahead of the 2019 Australian Formula One Grand Prix....

Modbury man and Brighton woman begin long-distance relationship

3 May, 2019

3 May, 2019

Finding love isn’t always easy, but a couple from opposite sides of the city are trying to defy all odds...

Colour blind uni student argues superiority of green and white cafe

5 October, 2019

5 October, 2019

A colour blind University of Adelaide arts student has found himself in an overly heated argument about the relative virtues...

170kg Clapham man favourite for Bay Sheffield after being handed 105m handicap

28 December, 2018

28 December, 2018

Cuddly giant Kade Gypsum has steamed ahead as the bookies’ favourite for the iconic Bay Sheffield foot race after being...

Stirling stoner claims local chemist name is misleading

3 February, 2020

3 February, 2020

An Adelaide Hills stay-at-home adult daughter and Oreos connoisseur Chakra Vortwenti is claiming that the name of her local pharmacy...

Adelaide Crows supporter hitting all of the stereotypes

2 August, 2018

2 August, 2018

SHOWDOWN SPECIAL: Donning her homemade woolen Adelaide Crows scarf and an unironically vintage bomber jacket, Rose Parque lauds the precise...

Man celebrates 40th birthday by agreeing with Leon Byner for the first time

12 October, 2018

12 October, 2018

Drew Ratcage has never been too bothered by the prospect of turning 40, that was until he found himself nodding...

Ingenious Toolie crudely changes 13 to 18 on his Year 12 jumper

25 November, 2018

25 November, 2018

In a surprisingly genius move, particularly from a Modbury High graduate, 23 year old Sam ‘Zombie’ Zommers has pulled off...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: