25 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

SA Masked Singer revealed to be Graham Cornes complaining about AFLW

TRENT BARTLETT

A planned South Australian-only version of the hit reality singing competition The Masked Singer has been scrapped after only one episode. 

The series, featuring only South Australian ‘celebrities’ had been promoted as a long-awaited return of locally-produced television. However, the show’s first ‘performance’ by the once-relevant Graham Cornes turned out to be little more than a rambling rant about the quality of women’s footy.

Let me tell you about women’s footy…

Cornes emerged in the show’s egg costume after having been pushed on stage by Troy Gray, Adelaide’s budget Mark Soderstrom who is, of course, Adelaide’s budget Osher Günsberg.

‘Let me tell you about women’s footy’, Cornes started off with as all four of the judges correctly guessed the contestant’s identity within a record twelve seconds.

‘It’s simple really, if they want equal pay, then their skills need to be equal to that displayed in the men’s game’, Cornes continued, having already removed his costume head as the majority of the show’s studio audience had begun to leave.

‘Now, take Serena Williams for example. She’s a great women’s athlete, but I know that I could beat her in a five-set match. That’s the thing, five sets, it’s apples and oranges’.

The sexist sermon continued for the next seventy-five minutes, although was edited down to forty-five minutes for broadcast. One viewer reported that by the end of the episode Cornes was left lecturing to Lindsay Lohan, a sole, confused judge. 

Lohan reported that she ‘still liked him more than Cody Simpson’.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

REVEALED: Chicken Chef actually only qualified as a Kitchenhand

4 November, 2019

4 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

Aspiring Magic Cave Father Christmas settles for Parabanks gig again

1 December, 2019

1 December, 2019

For professional shopping centre Father Christmas Claude St Velcro, it’s become a case of take what you can get. Every...

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

Big Red Car mag wheels stolen at Elizabeth City Centre

31 October, 2018

31 October, 2018

Disappointed children and slightly relieved parents have arrived at Elizabeth Shopping Centre to find the multi-coloured mag wheels stolen from...

Business who still hasn’t added 8 to phone number probably shonky

18 October, 2019

18 October, 2019

A television and VCR repair shop on Goodwood Road in Adelaide’s inner south is staring the wind of change in...

Boomer at work despite flu to ensure he can insult vegan fest attendee

28 October, 2019

28 October, 2019

While Adelaide’s vegans may be recovering from a weekend spent at Rundle Park’s Vegan Festival, one local boomer has dashed...

AFP raids Adelaide Mail offices only to find Xavier Minniecon

5 June, 2019

5 June, 2019

One year after publishing a damning exposé on the existence of the fictional suburb Kingswood, Australian Federal Police officers have...

Kid dressed as Britannia Roundabout wins Adelaide's scariest costume contest

31 October, 2019

31 October, 2019

Britani-AHH!!: Adelaide held its annual scariest Halloween costume contest this morning, with thousands of children from all around the state...

SA tells WA ‘Only we have the skills to maintain problem-riddled subs’

13 August, 2019

13 August, 2019

With Western Australia circling Adelaide’s lucrative Collins Class Submarine maintenance contract, SA’s western counterparts have been told to ‘Back off,...

Disgraced Prince Sent on Retreat to Andrews Farm

19 November, 2019

19 November, 2019

In a move as ill-conceived as allowing Prince Andrew to give the BBC an interview about his relationship with disgraced...

Tinder date downgraded to Hawker’s Corner after iffy message

24 June, 2019

24 June, 2019

A looming Tinder date has had its venue downgraded to West Terrace food court Hawker’s Corner following a questionable opinion...

More like “Slowa Pasta” says local comedic genius

9 August, 2019

9 August, 2019

As a group of friends decided to treat themselves 1998’s best dining experience, little did they know what was in...

Mall’s Balls beginning to sag with age

6 August, 2018

6 August, 2018

Since 1977 they have proudly been on display for all to see, but it appears time is catching up the...

OTR owners on-track to own literally everything ever created

23 October, 2018

23 October, 2018

South Australia’s omnipotent overlords the Peregrine Corporation have doubled down on their bid to stage a hostile takeover of all...

Josh Frydenberg thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

3 April, 2019

3 April, 2019

Preparing the 2019-20 Federal Budget, Josh didn’t know where to start. ‘Bills were piling up on the kitchen table and...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: