31 March, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

All 17 South Australian rugby fans very excited

With the announcement that Adelaide Oval will host the State of Origin (it’s for some sport called rugby, we checked) opener next year, the entire South Australian rugby fan population of 17 people have gone nuts.

Reportedly it will be the first time a Rugby Origin game has been played in South Australia, and not since the disappointment and confusion of what were the Adelaide Rams and Super League has the state shown such interest in this incredibly boring sport.

Pass ball, get tackled, pass ball, get tackled, pass ball, get tackled. Ball possession changes. Repeat this for 80 minutes in a mostly empty stadium

As most of the South Australian population are unaware of the concept of this thing called rugby, Adelaide Mail reporters have spent the last two days researching what will happen at this historic match. After watching several rugby matches, here is our summary for those unaware: Pass ball, get tackled, pass ball, get tackled, pass ball, get tackled. Ball possession changes. Repeat this for 80 minutes in a mostly empty stadium. Final score will be 12-10 or something, and there you have rugby.

With South Australia’s rugby entire fanbase made up of 7 ex-Sydneysiders, 4 ex-Queenslanders, 3 old british guys, a South African lady on holiday, some random guy from Cockburn and his 4 year old son, questions are being raised as to how hosting this event at Adelaide oval will be held to a “sellout crowd”, “generate $15 million to the local economy” and be “very exciting”, all wild promises made by the Premier.

Plans are currently being made to dye the Port Power tarps Maroon, just in case.

For the time being though, the small SA rugby fan community is rejoicing in this news, as it probably will be a better atmosphere than a Sydney rugby game because people in Adelaide actually go out to attend sporting events (unless it’s a Power home game).

in News, Sport
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