30 May, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Shopper actually finds reasonably priced product at OTR

With South Australia’s government mandated restrictive shopping hours in full force, partly enacted to ensure citizens patronise local family-run service station mega-chains, many Adelaide residents are often left with no choice but to shop at OTR after the hours of 5pm.

Such was the case for Cassini Keepcup of Edwardstown as she was forced to get some last-minute items for her child’s lunchbox from the South Plympton OTR store earlier this week.

These are usually $4 in other stores, but they were only $4.59 here, so I made sure to stock up

After phoning her bank and getting financial approval to grab a few items from the supermarket-cafe-Subway-Wok in a Box-hot dog vendor-You Foods outlet-tobacconist-pancakery-mini casino-New York Yankees merchandiser-newsagency-bakery-fish and chip shop and service station, Cassini grabbed a basket and prepared to refinance her home.

However, to Cassini’s surprise, as she got to the snack/pharmaceutical aisle, she found a generic packet of Twistie like chips which were reduced to an almost tenable price. ‘I was so excited’, stated Cassini ‘these are usually $4 in other stores, but they were only $4.59 here, so I made sure to stock up. The kids will be eating these for a while’.

After being relieved that her tax return had come in so she could finish the rest of her quick grocery run, Cassini left the OTR store and pushed the green happy face for the first time.

Editor’s note: We would like to once again point out that this is a satirical news website. We truly find OTR stocks a fantastic range of many reasonably priced products and has impeccably clean restroom facilities. Their wonderful and fairly-paid staff truly make OTR stores a fantastic local place to shop, eat, or relax for all South Australians. We state this at our own accord and is in no way influenced by the below email we received recently:

OTR, if you are reading let’s talk. We’re more than willing to instantly sell out.

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