21 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

‘You can’t pay off debts using free drink cards’, Zhivago owners told

TRENT BARTLETT

DISCLAIMER: In light of a predictable legal threat from the owner of Zhivago’s, we feel the completely unnecessary need to point out that the below article is satire and should not be taken literally. The owners of Zhivago did not attempt to pay off debts using drink cards or access to the club’s VIP lounge. Nor did they play their Spotify free account (we imagine that in real life they’d at least pay for premium).

However, it is true that the company that owns Zhivago, Truth (SA) Pty Ltd did have a liquidator appointed by the court. Zhivago will continue to do business and has “sufficient assets to repay” its debts that it, for some reason, didn’t pay. No word yet on whether the owner of Zhivago has followed through on his threats against NT News to sue them for publishing examples of his awful parking. 


After having its Currie Street nightclub placed into liquidation by the Federal Court, the owners of Zhivago have been told that they will have to do better than an admittedly hefty stack of free drink cards to pay off their mounted debts.

The offer was the second put forward as the embattled owners attempted to bargain down the amount owing to various creditors. Their earlier overture of ‘Free entry before 12 and access to the VIP booths’ was also turned down.

With a Spotify free account we should be saving hundreds of dollars a week

As liquidators move in on the nightspot, new cost-saving measures are being implemented in an attempt to save the at-risk business.

‘We’ve brought back the old “The DJ is not a jukebox” rule which seemed to be quite popular in the club’s early days’, says liquidator Toto Kimball. ‘And we’re being true to that rule too. The DJ is absolutely not a jukebox. In fact, there is no DJ. The DJ is now a Spotify playlist’.

‘And with a Spotify free account we should be saving hundreds of dollars a week’.

When asked whether or not the intermittent fifteen second advertisements urging listeners to subscribe to Spotify premium would deter patrons, Kimball said ‘You hardly notice them after a while’.

‘Actually, we did a test run on Sunday night and by the end of the night a few people were doing something called “muzzing” to that one Spotify ad with the airhorn at the start that’s about a hundred decibels louder than the music’.

Zhivago continues to trade under the management of liquidator Toto Kimball, who is very happy with his Spotify playlist.

Related Posts

Christopher Pyne quits politics to spend more time doing what he loves

1 March, 2019

1 March, 2019

In a coup for Adelaide Mail readers, outgoing Federal Defence Minister Christopher Pyne has revealed what his plans are for...

Boomer at work despite flu to ensure he can insult vegan fest attendee

28 October, 2019

28 October, 2019

While Adelaide’s vegans may be recovering from a weekend spent at Rundle Park’s Vegan Festival, one local boomer has dashed...

2001 Golden Grove High graduate still using the word ‘Gug’

2 January, 2019

2 January, 2019

Over 17 years since barely graduating from Golden Grove, Richard Mahogany of Greenwith continues to utilise obscure and almost obsolete...

Seeing a gap in the market, all OTRs start serving pancakes 24/7

17 June, 2019

17 June, 2019

With the Pancake Kitchen no longer operating 24 hours a day during the week, the OTR overlords have announced the...

Fewer baby girls being named ‘Elizabeth’ in South Australia compared to other states for unknown reason

30 May, 2018

30 May, 2018

Researchers for the University of Adelaide are completely baffled at the newly discovered abnormality of fewer females bearing the name...

Man hailed as genius for finding secret express route from City to TTP

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

Victorian motorist Ransack Platoon has been labelled as a genius by motoring groups after discovering a shortcut that could spell...

Rip It Up relaunches with Pokies reviews and noise complaint liftout

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

Heritage Adelaide street press Rip It Up magazine is set for a relaunch with a new focus on reflecting the...

REVEALED: Pelicans actually prefer to shop at TTP

13 November, 2019

13 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

North Adelaide Roosters announce 78 co-captains

4 February, 2019

4 February, 2019

Following suit of the State’s AFL clubs and following their key to success, excess, North Adelaide Football Club have decided to...

Regional dad hopes this Africola place does a good schnitty

22 November, 2018

22 November, 2018

Visiting his graduating son in ‘the big smoke’, Bill Wrangler of Renmark decided to take the family out for a...

South Australian unreasonably smug watching Queenslanders lose their minds over plastic bag ban

5 July, 2018

5 July, 2018

Sometimes you just have to rub your hands together and look on with glee at the failures of those other,...

New digital Adelaide Metro bus arrival signs to be installed pre-broken

3 October, 2018

3 October, 2018

In an effort to increase efficiency and reduce complaints, Adelaide Metro will be installing their new digital signs at transit...

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

Ceduna resident extremely angry about Adelaide Park Lands development

9 April, 2019

9 April, 2019

Murat Thevenard of Ceduna is your average consumer of South Australia’s satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, he gets it delivered to...

Steven Marshall reinvents himself with some snazzy new sneakers

9 January, 2019

9 January, 2019

Never one to shrink from the opportunity to imitate one of his federal government counterparts, South Australian Premier Steven Marshall...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: