3 August, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

PM Scott Morrison takes credit for stopping the Buffalo

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has taken credit for stopping the land-bound, abandoned restaurant the HMS Buffalo while on a whistle-stop trip to Adelaide.

The Buffalo — a non-operational replica of a 19th Century Royal Navy storeship sitting on the banks of the Patawalonga River — serves as a deterrent to those considering taking their lives into their hands by dining on questionably-refrigerated seafood.

We will decide who dines in our novelty maritime-themed restaurants and the circumstances in which they dine

As part of his tour of Glenelg, the PM told Adelaide Mail ‘this boat here is another example of the hard-won success of Operation Sovereign Borders. We must be careful because a single act of compassion could see 20 or 30 diners being let into this country from…wherever it is this ship came from’.

‘We will decide who dines in our novelty maritime-themed restaurants and the circumstances in which they dine’, Morrison continued.

However, some are critical of the government for not actually stopping boats like the Buffalo but merely ceasing to report on examples of them arriving in our suburbs.

Louis Kitseltom from activist group GetUp! told the Mail ‘the fact is we don’t know how many replica boat restaurants are popping up around Adelaide because the government won’t tell us. We could have a theatre restaurant being constructed on a paddle steamer in Murray Bridge right now and the government would tell us that there is no paddle steamer’.

‘If you want an open door policy on moored, unseaworthy boat restaurants, then by all means, vote Labor at the next election’, said Morrison. ‘But a Scott Morrison-led government will never allow a Buffalo like this on any suburban body of water’.

The PM also hinted that he will next turn his sights toward those paddle boats on the Torrens, labelling them a ‘risk to the fabric of our sovereign nation’.

Related Posts

TAFE SA qualifications now offered on Foodland dockets with purchase over $40

3 December, 2018

3 December, 2018

The aftermath of controversy, audits, resignations, misconduct and corruption has led to TAFE SA taking drastic measures to ensure qualifications...

‘The Advertiser site really needs more autoplaying videos’, says idiot

7 February, 2019

7 February, 2019

Not content with the dozens of relentless display ads and ‘native’ articles masquerading as journalism, The Advertiser has employed idiot...

Easter weekend marks beginning of ‘Be afraid to wear your Kathmandu jacket in public’ season

11 April, 2020

11 April, 2020

It’s easy to forget that Easter carries with it a deeper, important meaning for so many in our community. For...

Bloke’s tailbone still recovering after tobogganing over the jumps at Mt Thebarton

4 December, 2018

4 December, 2018

When a 14-year-old Alex Dangerfield visited Mt Thebarton in 1995 to experience tobogganing for the first time, he did not...

Chunky Custard to be inducted into SA’s Rock n Roll Hall of Lame

11 October, 2018

11 October, 2018

Since the early 90’s, cover band Chunky Custard have been donning the zany wigs, crazy costumes and slightly outdated references....

Entire train deeply confused by passenger getting off at Chidda

14 November, 2019

14 November, 2019

In a completely unprecedented situation, a passenger on a Gawler Central-bound train has alighted at Chidda Railway Station. Witnesses on...

Gays Arcade forced to change name after experts confirm it’s more of a mall

12 July, 2019

12 July, 2019

The LGBTQIA community (Laneway, Galleria, Business, Trader, Quickie-Mart, Independent retailer, and Arcade) are rejoicing as experts have changed the name...

Elon Musk regrets not getting a second slab of West End from The Commercial Hotel in Jamestown

28 June, 2018

28 June, 2018

Global entrepreneur and deadset legend, Elon Musk, is still reminiscing about installing the world’s largest battery in South Australia’s far...

Burnside girl with SACA membership actually spends 20 minutes watching the cricket

6 December, 2018

6 December, 2018

The Adelaide test match is renowned for its festive atmosphere, beautiful scenery and the heritage ground, but for many the...

Ingle Farm shopping centre considering radical third Coles store

13 September, 2019

13 September, 2019

Following the success of the populist “A Chicken In Every Pot, Two Coles in Every Mall” plan, Ingle Farm Shopping...

Royal Adelaide Show Cancelled: Who will judge Nan’s knitted Golliwogs now?

14 April, 2020

14 April, 2020

DAN SCHMIDT News has broken that the Royal Adelaide Show has been cancelled for the fifth time in history. Previously...

Man leverages home equity to pay for son’s frog cake addiction

2 February, 2019

2 February, 2019

Being a single parent is never easy financially, especially when you have a ten-year-old son eating upwards of three Balfours...

If quarantined, please listen to the other hundred Adelaide Crows podcasts instead of making your own

20 March, 2020

20 March, 2020

As working in isolation and two-week quarantines become commonplace for many South Australians, a high proportion of 20 and 30...

Casual Crows fan unsure if he’s supposed to love or hate Tex this week

3 June, 2019

3 June, 2019

With his form flip-flopping since the 2017 AFL Grand Final, Adelaide co-captain Taylor Walker has been the cause of much...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: