13 July, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Mall’s Balls beginning to sag with age

Since 1977 they have proudly been on display for all to see, but it appears time is catching up the big pair of balls. Now over the age of 40, signs of wrinkles and increased sagging are now beginning to show, particularly on warmer days.

Clearly this erection isn’t as strong as it used to be, but that tends to happen over the age of 40

‘It has to do with the natural composition of the structure’ says ball sculpture expert Gonad Mysac ‘clearly this erection isn’t as strong as it used to be, but that tends to happen over the age of 40’.

When asked if the sculpture could be restored to its former glory with welding, Gonad replied ‘That’s nuts, the only way to decrease sagging is through tickling’.

‘I’ve tested it a couple of times on this sculpture, but unfortunately it did not respond to the pair of test tickles’.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Car controlled by bees still more courteous than most Adelaide drivers

26 September, 2019

26 September, 2019

In a growing trend to worry drivers and parents across Adelaide, South Australian motorists are surrendering their cars to swarms...

Lost child at WOMADelaide probably better off to be honest

6 March, 2020

6 March, 2020

On the opening day of South Australia’s leading world-music and body-odour festival, a six year old child has been found...

Next 8 hours of office chat reserved for ‘that weather last night’

11 July, 2019

11 July, 2019

When the most interesting thing to happen to the typical office employee between the hours of 5pm and 9am is...

“Yeah that counts as a bath” says dad who has clearly given up for the year

22 December, 2019

22 December, 2019

In what was initially meant to just be letting the kids “dip their feet in” the water play area of...

Sober Sea & Vines patron can still hear DJ Ötzi’s Hey Baby in his ears

11 June, 2019

11 June, 2019

Having committed to a well-intentioned but poorly-timed ‘month off the turps’ Alsace Lorraine found himself as designated driver for this...

“Stop all these bloody Adelaide city highrises” says Willunga resident

1 August, 2018

1 August, 2018

Gerald Manser, 62, of Willunga has had enough of CBD development. On his yearly trip to the city for a...

OTR’s solution to unhappy customers: Get rid of the angry man button

3 December, 2019

3 December, 2019

Having grown annoyed at the constant stream of customers pushing the ‘angry’ button upon exit, OTR has moved to eliminate...

New Adelaide bar without a neon sign probably doomed

11 September, 2019

11 September, 2019

It’s in a prime location and serves the best cocktails in a welcoming environment, but something is missing at Adelaide’s...

36ers import players to be paid in ‘exposure’ for 2019/20 NBL season

23 September, 2019

23 September, 2019

The Adelaide 36ers administration vow that they have learnt their lesson after attempting to pay an Aboriginal artist for her...

Yatala Vale resident tired of explaining it’s nowhere near the prison

14 February, 2020

14 February, 2020

A resident of Yatala Vale, a picturesque semi-rural suburb in Adelaide’s outer north-east, is fed up being asked if she...

10 things you never knew about the Myer Centre

26 April, 2020

26 April, 2020

MATTHEW DEVITT All of this madness at the moment has made us realise what’s really important to us: mostly-empty, multi-level...

Local man puts on a few KGs while working from home

3 July, 2020

3 July, 2020

Part time pool cleaner and Valley View resident Al Lapanna has been working from home since COVID-19 hit (not for...

Elizabeth resident lobbies council to change name to Playholden

17 October, 2019

17 October, 2019

As the third anniversary of the closure of the Holden plant at Elizabeth approaches, lifetime local resident Camira Minnet lobbies...

Councillor Anne Moran proposes demolishing all buildings over 1m tall

30 January, 2019

30 January, 2019

Adelaide City Councillor and development containment officer Anne Moran will put to council a bold plan to demolish all permanent...

Rip It Up relaunches with Pokies reviews and noise complaint liftout

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

Heritage Adelaide street press Rip It Up magazine is set for a relaunch with a new focus on reflecting the...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: