30 May, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

50sixone to enforce minimum Instagram follower count policy for all diners

Diners of trendy dessert cafe 50sixone might need to rethink their after-dinner plans tonight following a change in policy from the restaurant owners, seeing patrons with fewer than 1,000 Instagram followers denied tables.

While most businesses welcome a bit of social media attention from their customers, the Hyde Park cafe entire business model rests on the back of colourful Instagram posts.

Each of our shakes costs at least $1,400 to produce, which means that we run at a loss of about $1,375 for each shake we sell

‘We can’t just be giving our tables away’, says maître d’ Pierre Gorgon, ‘you know, we’re not a charity.

‘Each of our shakes costs at least $1,400 to produce, which means that we run at a loss of about $1,375 for each shake we sell. It’s only with the word-of-mouth generated from Instagram that we can generate enough customers to make that money back’.

‘Of course, when we sell more shakes it means that we lose more money, so we need to generate more sales to make that money back. Instagram’s great at building this word-of-mouth to get more people through the door and sell more shakes. That’s why we’re implementing this policy’.

The new policy has seen would-be customers crafting creative ways of circumventing the ban.

‘Monday night was a bit embarrassing for a few of our customers’, says Gorgon, ‘we had four people claiming to be somebody called Kayla Itsines. One of them kept trying to sell me ebooks and showing me his abs. They were great abs, but I still prefer to read a paperback, call me old-fashioned, I guess’.

Related Posts

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

New Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee merchandise instantly sells out of 5XL sizing

27 June, 2019

27 June, 2019

With Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee desperately trying to target the insta-millennial market with their new line of merchandise, the new...

“Our one mistake was not charging more for a thickshake” – 50SixOne

1 March, 2020

1 March, 2020

With the business in the hands of liquidators and its three remaining stores now closed, the owners of 50sixone have...

Decade old Puratap filter probably fine

22 April, 2020

22 April, 2020

When Darren* and Amelia* (names changed to maintain anonymity) purchased their St. Clair property in 2010, little did they know...

Local pisshead really enjoying this ‘Dry July’ so far

3 July, 2019

3 July, 2019

Regency Park resident and drunkard Al Koholic has had a fantastic, albeit technically wrong, start to the popular ‘Dry July’ campaign. ‘When...

Two die, one completes entire med degree queuing at Pt Elliot bakery

30 April, 2019

30 April, 2019

For the third time in as many years, wait times at a popular bakery in south coast retirement village Port...

Colour blind uni student argues superiority of green and white cafe

5 October, 2019

5 October, 2019

A colour blind University of Adelaide arts student has found himself in an overly heated argument about the relative virtues...

Hills Hoist and Cask Wine sales data significantly correlated for some unknown reason

27 August, 2018

27 August, 2018

Statisticians and data analysts have been left completely baffled at the strongly correlated sales data of two South Australian icons....

Researchers find anyone who went to Mansions pre-2012 is immune to COVID-19 and most other things too

7 April, 2020

7 April, 2020

Fastracked South Australian TAFE short course health research graduates have made an initial discovery in what could be the first...

We take a look back at ‘Crow Milk’ and the diabetes epidemic it caused

2 December, 2019

2 December, 2019

In the wake of current local flavoured milk wars, let’s take a moment to remember a simpler time in South...

Old mate looking for roast buffet ends up at new CBD hospital

30 January, 2020

30 January, 2020

An event that can only be described as “not newsworthy at all” (even for Adelaide Mail standards) occured in the...

SA leads nation in problem drinkers masked as wine connoisseurs

25 October, 2019

25 October, 2019

In yet another example of South Australia leading its counterparts in important lifestyle statistics, a new study has revealed that...

Business on former site of Barnacle Bill is not fooling anyone

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

Editor’s note: The most knowledgeable person on all things South Australian (that we know about, at least) Dave Walsh has...

“Never drink Coopers again? I didn’t say that.” says man who definitely said that

3 January, 2019

3 January, 2019

MATTHEW DEVITT In an astonishing reverse of his staunch moral standing, Ascot Park man David Baker has come under scrutiny...

Addicts reduced to drinking Dare as iced coffee shortage hits

16 April, 2019

16 April, 2019

With the state in the midst of a regional Farmers Union Iced Coffee shortage, scores of heavily-addicted South Australians have...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: